Eaglezview

Amongst all the parent – child relationships I envy the relation of the daughter – mother the most.  I have my reasons for that. It seems to me that this is the most enduring of all parent  - child relationships amongst these four – father – son, father – daughter, mother – son, mother – daughter. I am of course, not bothered with the discussion on the order of the birth within the family. It is primarily these four that I am looking at for the purpose of this discussion.

It is natural that when we grow out of our innocence into individual adults with our own thinking and liking that the one thing after love that keeps us tied to our parents is conversation. Incidentally, conversation is the most precious commodity as we age. We need people to talk to; loneliness, is the most brooding companion of that phase of our lives.

These four relationships grow, blossom and then flourish to different extents and in some case even become extinct. The bonding in each of these is different at different stages of the child’s life. In the case of the father – son relationship, the love for your father grows into respect more than anything else post the teen age years. Once you put it in that category, it becomes difficult to connect on a real emotional level. I have noticed this with all my friends with the exception of a very few. A typical phone conversation between a son (20 something and beyond) and his father would revolve around work, study, money, health and that’s all. This takes about 20 seconds! On the other hand, when the same son talks to his mom, she always knows what he wants no matter how old he is! The conversation does involve all of the above and goes beyond that to the realm of inner emotions; she prods and digs to find out the inner most fears and hopes of the son’s heart. They both cherish this relationship of being a friend, philosopher, parent and child. This flourishes till the end of time.

The father – daughter relation is a real special one. The daughter dotes the father as the super hero in the world and the father protects the daughter like there is no world. This is a beautiful relation, more for the father I guess to see his daughter grow into a confident woman. But once she crosses that threshold of womanhood, the relationship undergoes a tacit perceptible change of respect for one another. The talks, although are still more of the heart as compared to the talk between that of a father and son, still lack something to complete them.

The mother – daughter relation on the other hand, starts mysteriously with the daughters neglecting their mothers, giving precedence to their dads. The mother is the loser in this deal. The mother yet nurtures and grooms her daughter as would be natural. Once, the girl has grown into a woman, they share an equal platform unlike in all the other relations I have talked about. The bonding grows more as the years roll and the conversations grow longer, involving everything from recipes, gossip, health, work, study, weight watching tips, children, etc. You name it and it will be there. There is no secret between them. I have seen this with my mom and grandmother and also with a lot of other folks I have been close to. 

This somehow seems mysterious, yet natural to me. Is there an explanation for this phenomenon in the way we evolved,  the need for the women of a  group to fend for the group?  Thus passing on all the necessary information to her daughter? This is  seen even today in some species like the Elephants. If so, this is such a pre -  human  trait that we are carrying to this day! Fascinating.